It’s that weekend again , correction , it was that weekend again, drill weekend. It comes every month just as it has for the last 6 years and every time it comes I feel so under prepared.
Did I wash all the clothes from last drill? Check. I even put all the clothing articles where they belong. Kids are getting ready for bed, formation is at 5 am and the drive is about 2 hours. Leaving as soon as we finish praying. Prayers said grabbing 2 ACU’s and he’s out the door for the weekend. Leaving me home alone with the kids while he goes and lives his glamorous life with all the male comradery he could dream of and without really having to worry about anything at home.
Except ACU’s are grabbed, starts to walk out the door . “Babe where is my duffel.”
“Just take the ACU’s on the hangers.”
“I’m going to but I was going to take my sleeping bag, and I need shower supplies.”
So much for me trying to make sure we were prepared ,again a slight fail. He is finally out the door and will arrive probably around 10:30 and get hardly any sleep before he has to wake up and get ready. My night won’t start until the kids have finally fallen asleep, this weekend that was 10pm for the 2 year old. L on the other hand was up until 1 am , mostly because we went and picked up my little brother (17) and let him stay the night so they were up playing games. Finally L is in bed and now T is up to nurse, back to sleep now I HAVE to clean up before I can finally go to bed.
In bed and its 3 am , I made it at my normal bed time. Wake up at 9 am . First T-ball practice ( here is another story ). Brother back to Mom’s , go to the store with 2 of the 3 kids, home , finish cleaning. Go switch children so L can stay with Grandma. Home for the night.
Say our prayers , lay down to sleep. A starts bawling crying for his L. Not his Dad not me but his L and nothing will calm him. Cries himself to sleep asking for L the whole time. Wakes up asking for L and has to call and talk to him, and we leave basically right after the phone call so he doesn’t start crying again.
Husband gets off and gets to go out with the guys. Glad he doesn’t drink anymore this could be expensive if he did. Though he went from never going out because drinking was cheaper when you weren’t paying per drink to having to go out every drill to be DD. He text me the whole time he’s out, he’s amazing. I’m ANNOYED. He deserves this time with these guys. IF he deploys he needs to already be friends with them, I need him to have people who love him if he ever goes over seas, this all being said I’m at home alone with our children for a weekend and he’s having fun.
The last day of drill no one knows when they will be released. He is as annoyed at being stuck there as I am at still being home alone with our MONSTERS. The boys are acting a mess because they miss their Daddy, I’m stressed and trying to avoid yelling and remember they are just children.
“L don’t drink my drink.” *Sits drink on counter, misses , big cup of juice spills all over the freshly mopped kitchen.* I start to yell and he starts yelling that it was an accident. I calm down and apologize , and go mop again.
Cleaning is done food is on the stove , still don’t know when GG will be released and its a 2 hour drive. Laying in the floor with T, A is watching L play on my phone, L doesn’t want him to. L pushes A. Go to your room L.
He pouts and refuses to go. “Go NOW”. Refuses to move, I get up to carry him to his room. He stands stares at me and yells no words just a yell and runs to his room. I walk back to talk to him.
“I hate this house , I don’t love you, I hate it here.” Sounds of him hitting and kicking the walls echo through the house. 4 year old was grounded to his room until Daddy got home (Daddy was 30minutes out)
GG gets home and the big kids run to him, little T starts crying , same as every night when Daddy gets home . If Daddy isn’t holding within the first 5 minutes he’s just not having any of it.
I have family, but most drill weekends they aren’t available. That is why Family Readiness Groups are important. Most aren’t very active. Ours certainly isn’t. The point of theses groups are to give the families people to turn to while our husbands are away. I can change a tire, if your car breaks down I can come pick you up…It’d be awesome to know that the other wives and husbands would pitch in and help me out if I needed. It’d also be awesome if they knew I’d help them.
If you are a military spouse talk to someone about your FRG , make some friends in your unit. I’m sure not everyone feels as alone as I do on the drill weekends but I’m sure some others do. If they deploy we need friendships of people who understand what we are going through too. Being a Guard or Reserve family member is harder in that senses. We are not centralized, we don’t have instant access to all the help, we got to look for it. A lot of our husbands aren’t good at sharing the info about the family events, find away to get it.